Friday, December 29, 2006

It's Been a Good One...


Today is my last day as a temp, and I'm celebrating by reading a lot of newspaper articles as opposed to working. Some stuff I've read:

Bobby Knight has been a favorite of mine ever since he was a favorite of my grandpa's. Knight used to make appearances at Iowa Farmer's Conventions and my grandpa always enjoyed it. I'd like to see B. Knight keep winning, if for no other reason than to give Steve Alford something to do with his time since things in Iowa haven't been very exciting for him. I'm going to the Hawkeye's basketball game tomorrow and I'm super excited to go to Carver. It's an old favorite.

I haven't decided if I'm driving to Iowa City late tonight or early tomorrow. It's not an exciting drive but it's an easy drive there from Chicago. I'm glad I'm not in Florida or I may have to worry abut getting lost like this guy.

I'm a big fan of rough drafts, revision is my favorite part of the writing process. However, I usually get rid of old drafts if I no longer need them because you never know what trouble they will get you into. Sometimes you think an article can't possibly live up to it's fantastic headline, but sometimes it just gets better.

All the holiday driving I've been doing lately mixed with preparing for a move and working some extra hours has left little time to excersise, not like I excercise much to begin with but it's made me feel a little sluggish. As much as I want to stay in shape I'm bored with excerscise. I have a lot of respect for people who can go to the gym everyday, except for the people who like to brag about how much they go to the gym and try to put down those of us who stuggle with motivation for excercise. If you're one of these people there's something you need to know. I don't find it fun and the "reward" it poses is hard for me to keep in sight, so I'm constantly looking for new fitness routines and experiments. What guarantees my further avoidance of excersise is my brother giving me his old X-Box for Christmas and a sweet new game which is right up my alley, so video games seem to be creeping into my life. I've never been into the video game culture but it seems fun and way better than Yoga.

And finally, this link was sent to me recently with, "My favorite link of the year..." as the subject line, and after reading it I must agree. The first picture of the fire pit is the current desktop on my MacBook. Thanks to R. Smart for the link.

There it is, the last of the Random Good Stuff for 2006. The last entry I make while I should be doing work at my temp job. It's been a good one, a good relocation to Chicago, a good time painting my parent's house this summer, a good trip to Kansas City to blow the money I had saved to buy an ipod on an Eagles of Death Metal concert, a good visit to Minneapolis to finally see the Walker Museum of Art, a good trip to Boston on my brother's birthday to get drunk on Magic Hat #9 which is one of my all time favorite beers as a tornado ripped through Iowa City, and a good year to start a blog. I hope 2006 has been equally as awesome for readers of The Goulash Chronicles. See you next year, GoonBots.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas Balls...

My mom sent me this video this morning, she had seen it on TV recently. It's a little corny, but if you watch this and it doesn't make you smile then we aren't friends anymore.

I'm not sure why it's in Spanish...



And while we're talking Late Night Christmas...

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Yesterday's News...

NBC's wesbite isn't very friendly to Macs, at least it wasn't to mine last night. For anyone who has trouble with their page, here is a YouTube version of the SNL Digital Short that we were talking about yesterday...



And then there's this...



Thanks to D. Gilbertson for the links.

While we're at it...



And finally, in terms of talk shows Matt Damon has had his troubles in the past, but he was on point with Letterman the other night...

Monday, December 18, 2006

All Time Favorite...


After watching the Hawkeyes get smoked I had some projects to work on Saturday night and I had SNL on TV as I worked. I ended up not getting much done until the episode was over because it was really good. I've always been a fan of SNL and though they've been less than their best recently, especially earlier this season, last week with Annette Bening and this past weekend with Justin Timberlake have been dynamite. The Hugh Laurie episode was good too, though I must admit that I haven't watched every second of this season. The digital shorts are getting better as well. I had long hoped that the shorts would start to take a more prominent role in the show as they did back when Albert Brooks started doing them, but they have gone back and forth over the last decade. Since Lazy Sunday they seem to be more of a feature, which is great because my all time favorite SNL clip is a short.


This past Saturday had a very fantastic video and the rest of the episode had me laughing as well. NBC currently has a bunch of clips from the season up here. They might not work if you have a Mac or you might have to download a Windows media player but it's worth it.

As everyone already knows from all the articles and info written about Lazy Sunday, some of the new blood (last year) who are doing the shorts are (is?) The Lonely Island. They have all kinds of good stuff on their sight, and lots of it.


It's also no secret that I enjoy Tanqueray, though I haven't enjoyed it lately because I'm broke. Early this morning I got a text message from my brother Dante which compared me to Tony Sinclair, the current spokesman for the product and suffice to say it was an awesome thing to start my day. So awesome I was twenty minutes late for work.

I've been watching The Office on DVD since I don't currently have cable. Not having cable isn't a big deal since this never ever gets old.*






*For those of you who think the Goulash Chronicles are getting a little too close to repeating itself with this post, I thank you for paying such close attention.

I'm old and grey...


Over the weekend I was involved in a conversation regarding natural talent. We had started talking about Brian K. Vaughn's book Pride of Baghdad and that lead to talking about instincts and that lead to professional sports and that lead to the Bulls current hot streak and that lead the conversation to a guy who plays for the Bulls whom one of us sort of knew or at least we had met him once in Okoboji over the 4th and then had met him again in Lawrence because we had a mutual friend. At this point the conversation hit a slight lull, as it sometimes does when pro sports are brought up because the majority of pro athletes are in their 20's like myself and they're also multi-millionaires which I definately am not. In fact I'm the opposite. 26 is a weird age because I'm young enough to justify working for pennies in order to train myself (new newspaper internship starts January 2nd) for the career I want to work until I'm old and grey, yet I'm old enough to have friends buying a new Mercedes every year. Well, maybe not every year but you get the point.

I think a lot of what goes into being a pro athlete is luck. Not luck in the sense that they're lucky to have the opportunity to make lots of cash because I truly believe that athletes, the ones with staying power, obviously have to bust their ass each day to keep up to par with everyone else in their field. These people aren't just playing games. (Get it? Games? Sports?) I think the luck comes into play because they're natural talents happen to also be what they want to spend the rest of their life doing. Pretty lucky if you ask me, lucky and fantastic. If someone is good at tennis and they like tennis, it's a no brainer that he/she should be a tennis player. If someone is good at baseball but would rather be a chef, that's where it gets tough. What makes the road even longer is when you see someone your own age without student loans and they're able to pay their parking tickets on time so that the city doesn't send a letter home to your parents because your Lumina is still in your dad's name and that prompts your dad to reconsider your having a car in Chicago, hypothetically. It's easy to be proud of your friends, but envy is hard to mask when you eat Ramen every night.

Anyway, all of this led me to think about my natural gifts because writing sure as hell isn't one of them, hence all the attempts at practice. I kept my eyes open this weekend and I think I found something, let me set up the scene for you. It's late in the day and you're at a small clothing store, or a barber shop, or a coffee house or even a bank and they're just about to close. You're the last person in the place and you're the last customer to leave before they lock the second door. The exit has a double door and they have already locked the door on the right to deter people from coming in and their needing to tell them, "Sorry we're closed. We open at ten tomorrow." I walk toward the double doors trying to hurry as to not further hold up the people working because I've been in their shoes when all you want is for that last person to leave so you can close and go home and turn on the TV take off your socks and rub your feet on the carpet and BOOM. I run into whichever of the double doors has been locked. If the right one is locked I'll have picked the left, if the left is locked I'll go right. It's a natural talent which pisses me off to no end because the place is always empty so when I smack into the door the sound reverberates throughout the space for all of the employees to here. "Oh, that door's locked. The one on the left is open." No shit, coffee batista or bank teller or whoever is working behind the counter?

That's my natural talent. It isn't exactly what I want to spend my whole life doing professionally, but I'm not saying I wouldn't capitalize on it if I could. After all, it might be nice to drive a Mercedes to the store for Ramen.

I'm going to try...

Since I'm always on the look out for new condiments I was excited to read today on Daily Candy (which isn't just for girls) about a reataurant called Smoque in the Irving Park neighborhood. Since I'll soon be leaving my current home base (a futon in a friend's livingroom in west Lakeview) for a new home base (a sublet with an air mattress in east Lakeview) I'm going to try to make it over to Smogue while it's still in walking distance.

I can't watch YouTube at work, nor can I look at MySpace or Digg.com or other video sites, which is why alot of stuff people send me during the day doesn't make it onto the Goulash Chronicles for a little while. Those of you who have sent links and video please keep them coming. I'm going to try and make more little posts with random good stuff and save the digressions for after work. We'll see how it goes, but the Goulash Chronicles are still in the experimental stages anyway. With that said, I was ecstatic to learn about a new Arcade Fire song available over the phone as well as online. It's all explained hear.

More to come...

Monday, December 4, 2006

His hands are tied...

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like you to please tell Steve Jobs and the others at Apple to get off their asses and put the touch screen iPod on the market already. I don’t even need you to bring it to my house on Christmas Eve, I’ll pay for it myself but I’m tired of waiting. It’s no secret that those clowns have us all by the balls, but I thought you could work some magic. I saw the Easter Bunny last Saturday at Borders and asked him about it (I hate to bring up work stuff on the weekend but he’s so damn hard to get a hold of) but he said his hands are tied this time of year. I had to wait forever to buy a Macbook and I don’t want a repeat of that situation so anything you can do will be appreciated. I have been pretty good this year, but you told me last summer that you don’t give a shit about that “for goodness sake” jive, so whatever.

Say hi to the Mrs. for me.

Yours truly,
Don Goulash

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Asleep at the wheel...

I don't think anything an artist does can undo the good stuff that he or she has already done. An image can be tarnished and character can be damaged but nothing can affect the random good stuff which has already happened in the past. Examples: OJ killed his wife but USC will always have his Heismen trophy, Michael Jackson may be weird but "Rock With You" will always be a good song, Dan Akroyd has made some questionable choices for movie roles but the brilliance of Ghostbusters can never be undone. Michael Richards had a public breakdown but he had some pretty memorable TV moments back in the day.



In the past, Guns n' Roses have made some awesome music but they haven't been around for a long time. The current version of Guns n' Roses is just a cover band. Recently The Eagles of Death Metal, one of my personal favorites, was tapped to support Guns n' Roses on their recent tour and were dropped very quickly. You can/should take a moment to read about it here. What bothers me most of all is that while driving back to my parent's for Thanksgiving last Wednesday I was falling asleep at the wheel, and Peace, Love and Death Metal woke me up. I listened to it front to back and was reminded of how awsome that album is, only to read that a wash-up like Axl Rose is talking down on another band, let alone a great band, as if anyone still cares what Axl Rose thinks.

Sweet Child of Mine will always be a fantasmo song but I hate Axl Rose, and his face lifts.

More to come...

Practice for the next thing...

The internet is down at work and it’s causing me to lose my mind a little. I wanted to check when the Hawkeyes play next but nothing doing. The problem is that I can’t ask anybody for help on the fear that they’ll ask, “What do you need the internet for?” I don’t need it for anything work related so here I am, sitting patiently, waiting for someone to fix it or for it to fix itself, which the internet may or may not be able to do. To be honest I don’t know much about computers and I’m a horrible typist. I’m one of those people who look at the keyboard while typing which makes my current situation even harder since being moved to a new workstation with an older computer. Most of the keys are worn out and the letters have gone missing, which is probably just fine for a temp but it makes it hard to search for Ultimate X-Men trades on half.com when one can’t find the god damn X.

You would think this could be a good time to do some other projects I’ve been asked to work on but I’m left sitting here wondering when I’ll be able to check my e-mail. This is a prime time for me to tell myself that I was about to work on some freelance stuff (I’m starting to get some actual assignments), or at least print out some material for the article I have due on Friday which I have yet to start, but I know that I’m only using the disabled internet as another excuse. When it’s back up and running I’ll tell myself that I need to check my e-mail or read something on Slate.com or some other excuse to prolong the work I should have done two weeks ago. For some reason this has never bothered me. For every time I’m up against a deadline like this I never once have said, “Next month will be different. I’m going to get things done early.” Nope. Instead I’ve reinforced my procrastination habits by saying, “Well, you waited until the last minute, but you got the job done on time and think about all that stuff you did (basically just day-to-day life experiences) that contributed to the final result.” I’m a firm believer that everything you do is practice for the next thing you do. Call it what you will, such as the circle of life or karma or some other example that I should reference but I’m unable to look anything up on Wikipedia because the internet is down, but everything is most definitely interrelated. This is a passage from today’s Daily OM:

“Yet our initial impressions of an experience may not wholly reveal the true significance of that occurrence because our full response to an experience is like an onion with many layers that all have disparate meanings. Consider that a sunrise may stun us visually while simultaneously evoking memories of childhood and reminding us that each new day is a rebirth.”

Am I setting myself up for a fall? Maybe. Only time will tell. Until then I’ll be inadvertently prepping for whatever comes next. I guess I’ll know it when it happens.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The racial elements are obvious...

By now everyone has heard the news about a former Seinfeld star who has been in the papers about some pretty racey material that was publicly broadcast. Well it wasn't very hard, but I found a clip of the material in question and posted it below. After watching this I don't know if I can watch my Seinfeld DVDs anymore. Use your discretion when watching this, it's pretty extreme stuff and the racial elements are obvious once you start the clip.

Friday, November 17, 2006

It isn't fair to judge...


I woke up tired and a little hung over this morning (four High Lifes turned into nine) and felt like a different person as I was getting ready for work, but I felt better after a shower and putting on my shoes, which for some reason helps me wake up. A little coffee also helped. Money is tight right now, which is fine, and brewing coffee at home is a nice way to save a couple of bucks instead of droping dimes at Starbucks, even though there are apparently some interesting yet very lame ways around that.

Some new books which I would like to read are on the shelves and the Onion A.V. Club has articles relating to two of them. The first is Random Rules with Marisha Pessl. Her book sounds good and the photo doesn't hurt. The only thing better than a pretty girl who can write a good story is an astronaut who gives you free ice cream. I almost hate to bring that up because it isn't fair to judge her book by her own looks but she's definately easier on the eyes than some authors.

An interview with Chuck Klosterman talks a lot about his writing process and that’s the stuff I personally really enjoy, especially after applying to some publications and recently hearing back about possibly hearing back. Reading stuff like this helps me stay patient, which is difficult knowing that there are people in the world dressed just like me accomplishing more with less time…



Side note: Microsoft Word didn’t recognize the word Klosterman and suggested I replace it with Lobsterman. Lobsterman made me laugh more than I care to admit, which is perfect for a Friday.

More to come…

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Along with a lot of pizzas...

On the train ride home from the first night of my new nights/weekend job I mapped out a fantastic outline to write about, but after catching up on episode four of the current season of Battlestar Galactica and four High Lifes, I'm too sleepy. I'll save it for tomorrow, so as I nod off I'll leave you with this:

Various midwestern libraries...


Do you like Stephen King? Me too, though I'm starting to think I'll never read any of his books. There is an increasing number of writers who, I’m sad to say, I just won’t get around to reading. Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, Cormack McCarthy and especially Michael Chabon have been on my list for years, some of their books are even on my shelf, but I’ve yet to read a single word. I dream of a time when all I'll do is catch up on stuff I've been meaning to consume over the past few years, but it won't happen and that's frustrating, almost maddening. What’s interesting about the media is how it can provide such a great appreciation for authors without you having to reading their material. When Hunter S. Thompson died, Rolling Stone put out a pretty amazing tribute issue which I continue to go back and look at from time to time giving me a real admiration of his life and adventures, and he was always amazing when he was on Late Night.
Have I read any of his books? Nope. On the same note, I’ve probably checked The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay out from various midwestern libraries a half dozen times over the last couple of years, but I have yet to crack the cover.

Anyway, back to Stephen King and my point, I’ve read his stuff in Entertainment Weekly and I had a writing teacher in college who always talked about him (rumor is he spent time at the University of Iowa Writer’s Workshop) and I think he’s obviously great though I’ve never read his novels. The New York Times (which is free online is you take a moment to sign up) ran a really cool article recently which referenced a lot of good writers, whom I probably won't read, and talked about the changing landscape. It’s worth checking out when you have a moment, but the site will probably expire in a few days.

On a similar note, there are a lot of movies I would like to watch but will probably just never see like Jaws and The Godfather. I’m pretty sure I’ll never see 2001: A Space Odyssey. This belief was strengthened yesterday when I returned the DVD to the Chicago Public Library a day late having never even taken the disc out of my bag. It’s nice to be busy but a $2 fine is more of an insult than anything. That’s the first time I’ve ever walked out of a library pissed off at myself but probably not the last.

Any movies or books you don’t think you’ll ever see either due to time or because you just refuse? Type them in the comment section, maybe we have some of the same stuff on our lists.

More to come…

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Give or take a couple of words...


In the midst of my temp job I’ve been trying to get some writing work and I received my first official “maybe” the other day. I’ve been trying to get into the ground floor at an entertainment publication in Chicago which will remain vague, and this wouldn’t just be freelance but I would be on an actual staff. I had a solid contact in the company and was doing my best not to get over excited incase it fell through, but that’s plenty easier said than done. Monday I heard back that I’m a possibility for a spot opening in January. Nice right? You would think, but my optimism must have slept through the alarm clock that morning because I started to question what results I had to show for today? I immediately got bummed and thought about how far January was and how much I wanted the job right then. Then I took a drink of my coffee and it was ice cold. “Ice cold? How long was it sitting there? Have I been so wrapped up in my morning that I let my coffee go cold? I haven’t even done anything this morning. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not drinking alcohol anymore. Not for a while at least. I haven’t earned it. I need to get something done. I need to produce some results. Something worth telling people about at my parent’s Christmas party.” Give or take a couple of words, that’s how my random depressed moments always start. I guess everyone has their own style.

Everyone gets dpressed and it's nothing new, and I recover pretty quick. The problem I've been considering recently is figuring out when my brain will have had too much? At this point I’m pretty sure the question isn’t, “Will I have a breakdown one day?” but rather, “When will my bat-shit breakdown happen?” I’m thinking of starting a pool like March Madness and letting people place bets. At least that way someone can make a little money while I’m sitting in a hospital bed staring out the window (I’m not sure if I’ll be drooling or not, but probably). Maybe if I keep writing through it all when it happens I’ll be able to salvage something. It’s worked for others. I don’t mean this to sound pessimistic in the, “Poor me, I’m doomed,” kind or way but instead I’m trying to confront it with humor like David Brent would.
It definitely won’t happen for a long time, not until a little later in my life. Ironically, it probably won’t be an issue until I have a more grounded lifestyle. Maybe when a wife leaves me. That would be a legit reason for a mental crash and burn.

Like I said, the depression is fleeting. It’s usually gone in a few minutes thanks to my optimism, which may or may not be a Midwest thing, and if it was that big a deal it would be way more hard to reflect on like I’m doing here. I’ll probably just grab something to drink on the way home from work and evaluate my options. That sounds like pretty good motivation to make it through another day of work.

So much for keeping these entries short. More to come…

Monday, November 13, 2006

Definately wouldn't be able to talk...


I'm watching Studio 60 and as much as I hate to admit it I was getting kind of bored until who should pop up but the girl who played Dawn on The Office, whom I definately have a crush on which means I definately wouldn't be able to talk to her if I ever met her. She was also on Shawn of the Dead which is one of my favorite movies.

Somehow I ended up on YouTube and was watching clips of an old show called LateWorld with Zach which aired on VH1 for a very short time a very long time ago. It was hosted by Zach Galifianakis and they always had great music.

Helping Me Crawl...

Since this blog 'o mine is pretty much about my search for motivation in life which sounds over dramatic but that's the best way I can put it, I thought I would share some samples of things which get me through the day. Today is particularly strange at work and my short list for things to do tonight is helping me crawl through the afternoon, and there are two things in particular.

#1. Studio 60...
It's a TV show on the Sunset Strip on NBC. I really, really like this show. For years my mom was telling me to check out the West Wing and I just never got around to it so there was no way I was going to miss this show. The fact that it's subject matter is sketch comedy is just icing on the cake. I'm willing to bet that most people who are ragging on this show, even though it just got picked up into a full season, aren't even watching it. There are plenty of people who would rally against something in pop culture just because it's popular, and everyone who liked the Strokes after their first album and then all of the sudden said they didn't like the Strokes, I'm looking at you.

#2. Condiments
I'm currently crashing on a couch, a futon actually, as I hunt trough the streets of Chicago in search of an address of my own, hopefully with hardwood floors and big windows and the previous tenant left behind a bunch of bookshelves. Of course, when I say "hunt through the streets" I mean to say sit on the couch and look through Craigslist. My temp home is provided by a couple of friends I met through college friends a long time ago and with whom I have since become good friends. Got that? They have both been in Chicago a while and their refrigerator has acquired a healthy amount of condiments and sauces and other random good stuff. I bought some chicken the other night (very boring) cooked it (also boring) and then realized that I hadn't bought anything to put on top of it. In Iowa there is a fantastic barbecue sauce called Cookies, which you can't find in Chicago but it's pretty much my favorite. As the oven timer buzzed I started to feel a weird sense of homesick and missed the simplicity of having my own fridge with my own bottles in it and my own bed instead of a futon in a living room and so on and instead of using that as motivation to find an apartment where I could have my own bed and fridge with honey mustard I instead started to mope. However, this was over fast because as I opened the refrigerator door I began a new and surprising adventure in condiments which I'll continue tonight. Simple Pleasures. If anyone out there has a favorite condiment, I would love for the recommendation. Turns out there is a Trader Joe's near my temp house and I'm guessing they have something worth investigating, though I've never been to Trader Joe's but I've seen it on Food Network.

I need to figure out how to put substantial content into this blog rather than numbing rambles. Maybe I'll find inspiration in some condiments tonight. Thanks for reading. More to come.

Something to do...

Here starts my new adventure in blogging. Finally I'll have something to do at work.