The Goulash Chronicles

A common desire...

2007-08-27T12:17:00.000-05:00

This week is starting on a good note, mainly because it started in an apartment with running water. The week ended without running water due to the storms which Chicago saw on Thursday but in an attempt to further expand the use of cliches in this collection of essays, there was a definite silver lining in the storm clouds. I realized that even an apartment without water is still a pretty good place to call home.

High points of not having running water for three nights:
-An excuse not to do dishes
-A reminder that I always have a place to crash away from home
-The pudding I ate before I fell asleep, pudding I bought at the store on the way to my old friend Nat's house, pudding I wouldn't have bought had I not made the walk
-When the water finally came back on I had spent so much time wanting and hoping it would come back I finally gave up and sort of forgot about it and slmost gotten used to it
-A return to the futon

The power in my actual apartment didn't go out, the apartments are all connected to a back up generator but the hallways and lobby and streetlights were all dark. I'm not sure why/how this affected the water pipes but since water is included in my monthly rent I wasn't sure where to direct my questions. But I had power, I couldn't complain too much. Lots of people had nothing. On the walk home from work on Thursday the majority of the storm had passed, at least enough that I could walk through the streets and get an eye full of what had happened. The rain had stopped and all that was let was a little wind and a lot of dark buildings. I walked through the Rush & Division area of downtown and to my surprise a lot of bars in this area where still open. They had candles on all the tables and the atmosphere was very quiet and comfortable, a reminder that storms are just one more thing Midwesterners deal with. I don't think any tornadoes touched down in the city but there was a watch all afternoon, but once the rain stopped and the wind calmed life moved on. People weren't about to let the weather get in the way of their plans, including drinking.

The hallways of my building were lit by floodlights all attached to generators which cast crazy and heavy shadows and when mixed with the already old look of the former hotel I live in, a weird Escape From New York vibe was created. I discovered the lack of water at about 10:30pm, too late to find or want to find a place to crash, I was tired so I just went to bed without being able to brush my teeth or even wash my hands. I woke up and packed a tooth brush in my bag, threw on some deodorant, cologne and a fresh shirt and was off to work. The bus stop was full of the same, not once did I feel dirty knowing how many of the people in my neighborhood were going through the same thing. Once I got downtown I expected to see that scene in Batman where the Joker has contaminated all the heath and beauty products and the news casters look like hell during the evening broadcast, and instead it looked like it always does. Nothing looked different. The previous days weather had been near catastrophic and here was the same crowd of people returning to work, time marching on.

That Friday night I was still without water and two days without showering was too much, so I loaded an old snowboard backpack with clothes and my dop kit and then everything came full circle as I walked through Wrigleyville to my old address, my first address, the address with the futon on which I crashed when I first landed in Chicago last October. It is a common desire to want to go home, everyone feels it at some point. But with all the crap and headaches brought by the storm it brought one more reminder that things could be worse. It was a lucid feeling of comfort caused maybe by the contrast of a quiet night after a crazy storm, or maybe it was just the pudding.

Which led me to...

2007-08-22T00:36:00.000-05:00

I was doing some research for work tonight which led me to a MySpace page which led to a blog which led to the below video. I've heard this before but I can't remember where, I'm sleepy and should have crashed two hours ago but that's an old story especially since my late (ish) night led me to this song and it was good to hear it again. I've been in a mood for ambient music lately, but maybe more on that later because right now it's past bedtime. It could be the simplicity of the song, the lack of words (very welcome lately) or the current overcast Chicago sky, but I'm looking forward to how this will affect my day tomorrow when I listen to it at work.

Update: The song has been good to me and it's called "Recurring" by Bonobo. It's now mid PM and I've been wearing that song out along with the newest single from Queens of the Stone Age which was featured on All Songs Considered last week. I've heard mixed reviews on Queens' latest album but I personally love it the same way I love Interpol's new album because it's just more music from a great band. Maybe it isn't all great the first listen (though it was for me) but their songs really build momentum for me the more time goes on. Try to find time and give it a listen, but definitely find time to listen to All Songs Considered. The NPR staple is one of the best radio music shows on the air and it's available for free stream for those rare moments when a break from the Current is needed.

The cushion is all but gone...

2007-08-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

I'm slowly and happily coming to realize what I won't do with my life and what I should abandon. Dreams on which I should give up, ideas I shouldn't bother writing down, fantasies over which I can finally stop dwelling, and it feels pretty fantastic. It's not a pessimistic kind of giving up, it's a realistic kind of giving up. I'm focusing on other aspects of the adult process and it's making me cut the clutter from other areas of my day and from my brain.

The entrance to my office building, like most big buildings in big cities, has meal detectors which need walking through before I get to sit at this computer and type this. There is also an x-ray machine and today the security guy monitoring everyone's bags asked, "Shoes?" as my stuff passed through. I was still a little sleepy as I stood there waiting for my bag (though not groggy, yesterday being the first "X" on the calendar of a sober household) and looked up at him in time to hear, "Are those your shoes?"

After the day job I have to go straight to the night job, and the plan is to walk instead of take the bus (which is actually faster when commuting inside the confines of downtown Chicago at 5pm on a weeknight). To work today I wore a pair of beat up Adidas which have a strange squeak in the left foot but are in no way worth abandoning since they are still comfortable and fit well and for the sake of sentimentality they were the last thing I bought in the Chicago area (Aurora outlet mall) immediately after getting laid off from my first adult job and then moving back to Iowa to work at a diner while exploring the country and sleeping on couches. Those shoes have been the most important part of my post college uniform and I'm sad to say that they're nearing the end of their run (literally because the cushion is all but gone and I can't wear them to run anymore). I looked up at the security guard and said yes, those are my shoes. He was smiling and said, "Big. Twelve?" No, they're actually size thirteen I told him. "Yeah, I was actually gonna guess bigger, but I didn't want to say anything."

It's pretty common for someone to comment on the size of my feet when they see them when people find out how big my feet are. I'm only six feet tall but I've had feet of a person four inches taller than me since I was twelve. It isn't easy finding big shoes when you live in a small town in the Midwest, which makes the random finding of my Adidas even better. As day-to-day routines come and go, things change and usually aren't as good as they used to be. That's not to say they're worse, just different when you add new elements. Starting my hunt for new shoes (and it will be a hunt and definitely not something as simple as walking into Footlocker and finding a new pair, this will require mail order) has prompted me to feel optimistic that I can move on and abandon old ideas, clearing room to concentrate on new stuff. My new shoes won't have the same arches or the same outlet mall back story as my current shoes, just like my new job won't have the allure of the Travel Channel, but knowing that the right options exist in the world as long as I put my glasses on and keep my eyes open it will make it a little easier for me to try on a lot of pairs of shoes.

Sidebar: You know how there's always one urinal a little lower than the others in the men's room? It's for little kids or shorter guys or whatever? Well a meeting was on break earlier today when I needed to use the bathroom so it was crowded and all the normal urinals were occupied. Not a big deal, but I was eaves dropping on two suits who were washing their hands and not really paying attention to the matter at hand or the lower than usual potty and accidentally pissed all over my leg while using the little kid urinal. This doesn't really add to my point about new shoes and limiting your pursuits, I just thought it was funny. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for it to dry.

To the bus stop on time...

2007-08-20T12:55:00.000-05:00

The bus was late this morning, real late and everyone was pissed. I wonder if the people who get mad at the late bus are the same people who hate to go to their jobs, because for those people a late bus should be a blessing. Sure, it could lead to your boss getting mad and maybe getting fired but if you don't like your job that should be a good thing. It's easy for me to say, I like my job and I like being late for work so it's the best of both worlds, but the people who always throw a tantrum when public transit doesn't move according to plan seem to always be the kind of people who wake up not wanting to go to the office. It would be refreshing to see a completely packed #22 bus pull up to the stop with no capacity for more riders and hear someone say, "Dammit, I have to wait to get to work," or something less corny but along those lines. Instead it's usually, "I hate my job and since it's the main focus and largest consumer of my time I don't like the majority of my life and this late bus which I have no control over what-so-ever being late gives me one more thing about which I can be pissy," or something along those lines. Again, it's easy for me to say since I work I in an office environment that's more "get the work done at the specific time it needs to be done" job and not the "punch in at the top of the hour and push a pencil and look busy until 5pm" job. Not sure if I'm supposed to use quotes there or not, but I hope it conveys my point, point being people should relax. This is obvious and very cliche but so, so true. Things could be worse.

Even though I was late due to the bus I was excited that I would have been on time if the bus was on time. Usually I show up the the stop late and it doesn't matter if the bus is on time or isn't, I'm late and it's all my fault. I figured today to be the same and was surprised when I made it to the bus stop in time. I had a late night last night which featured the following, not in chronological order:
-a $4 bottle of wine which I feel obligated to buy last Friday and felt I had to get rid of last night by myself
-A girl at Borders reading a comic book which instantly excited me and then it was a killer let down when I found out it wasn't a comic (it had been raining and my glasses had water on them)
-two bottles of beer which I found in the fridge around midnight when I was looking for OJ which I drank telling myself that I need to ease back on the weeknight alcohol so I better get rid of these last two bottles so tomorrow night my fridge will be empty of temptation
-cutting my toenails
-cutting my fingernails
-feeling a huge sense of accomplishment after the toenail/fingernail cutting
-walking to the bookstore and smoking a cigarette, which I don't often do but I had one and only one and with my growing ideas of eliminating temptation I figured I should get rid of it and thought it a waste to just through it away
-chasing a cigarette with a piece of apple Bubblicious
-walking towards my favorite Thai restaurant on Lincoln and then turning myself around while telling myself that I don't need to spend the money, I have food at home, but still spending $7 (about what I would have spent at the restaurant) on one of those frozen but "healthy" Thai meals that comes in a bright plastic bag and found in your grocer's freezer when I only went to the store for orange juice
-enjoying dinner because that bag of frozen Thai was delicious and worth it
-sitting on my grandpa's old couch in my new apartment with the windows open as it rained and rereading part of On the Road which I had been talking about with a friend earlier in the week, all the while a little drunk which may seem very cliche and I can't deny that, I almost didn't include it in this post (essay? article?) but I decided that anyone who wants to thumb their nose at that last sentence can go fuck themselves, this is my story and last night was pretty much perfect, besides most of this stuff didn't happen the way I'm writing it, it says "fictional" at the top of this page and I'm just trying to make this text interesting

It was a night of indulgence and I didn't really earn it but that's how it goes. The DJ on the Current just referred to Minneapolis as a concrete jungle and yesterday's New York Times had a couple of great articles about walking through Manhattan. The day of work has gotten me in the mood for an after work walk, which will probably be interrupted by an after work nap. The problem with a walk is that it reminds me how much I like cooking up a gin and tonic in a plastic cup and walking/wandering Lincoln Park, but alcohol isn't supposed to be in the cards tonight. The problem with the nap is the reminder that naps are always good but naps are only great if taken after mowing the lawn, and I have no lawn.

Chicago is my favorite concrete jungle, especially on rainy days, but each day I miss not having a lawn a little bit more and more and more.

And more to come...

Easy, routine, unavoidable...

2007-08-17T12:15:00.000-05:00

I'm not drunk right now though I'm pretty sure I was earlier today, definitely when I first woke up this morning at 7:45 when I opened my eyes to realise that my alarm had not been set and I was rolling out of bed when I should have been rolling out the door. No shave, a very quick iron on the shirt, no coffee or breakfast (not that I eat breakfast anyway but if I were a person who did so today would not have allowed for that). I don't want to sound like a college guy talking up how wasted he was, but if this page is meant to be a chronicle of the day-to-day then last night's impromptu bar visit needs to be documented. It was definitely a mistake, a wake-up call ironically enough of how out of touch I am with my social life. There was that great time when getting drunk on a week night was easy, routine, unavoidable. Last night, however, turned into a shit storm. Think back to college, remember that first time you got drunk when your gen-eds were all done, maybe the first semester of your junior year, you finally have a class schedule consisting of the classes you want to take, not the ones you have to take and a couple weeks into the semester you find yourself at a bar and feeling good but forget that you haven't been drinking much lately and the tolerance is down but the beer flows easy and the next thing you know it's 2am and your standing in line for pizza? That's what last night was, sans pizza, it was like junior year. It was drinking for the sake of socializing and not for the sake of getting drunk and in doing so I lost sight of how drunk I was getting. $1 beers? Jesus, I forgot that bars serve $1 beers.

Notable Things:
-Crushing hard on a girl with glasses (favorite) but after finally talking to her remarking to a friend that it was like talking to a washing machine, meaning there was noise going back and forth but nothing of substance came of it and it was pretty much a waste of time for both of us. I thought the washing machine line was pretty good at the time, but you sort of had to be there.
-Waking up to find an empty yet shredded box of Frosted Mini Wheat's on the floor of my studio. Not sure what happened there.
-A Caribbean cab driver who was in a genuinely good mood who may or may not have been playing steal drum music during my ride down Clark St. after the bar.
-Telling myself as I left the bar that a walk would be good for me and I didn't need to take a cab. That lasted a block and a half.

Course of Events:
Leaving the apartment at 7:15am, going to work, going to Sears to buy a pair of Levis which were reportedly on sale, going to the other work, hearing the suggestion of $1 beers after work, thinking I have too much to do, deciding a couple of beers not only wouldn't hurt but would in fact be good for me, looking at my watch expecting to see 12:15 and seeing 10:27, discovering I was at a Michigan State bar and getting a little mad, getting excited that the Hawkeyes were coming to Chicago in two weeks and then realizing that I'd been spacing off for a good twelve minutes while thinking about this, getting up to leave so that I could be in bed by midnight, "One more round?" seven times, stumbling into my building just shy of 2:00am, eyes open at 7:45am (as much if not a little extra sleep than I get most week nights), hot shower, Claritin, multi vitamin, Advil, an empty #22 bus signaling how late I was, Dunkin Donuts

This morning I had a check from a freelance job sitting on my desk, so apparently I was coherent enough to check the mail last night but it was news to me.

More to come...

Depending on the opposite...

2007-08-15T12:54:00.000-05:00

I'm trying something new lately, inspired directly by Seinfeld (the show, not the guy). Remember that episode where George does the opposite of is first impulse? Well, say hello to my new lifestyle. The plan is to avoid initial impulses and sit back. Sort of like an angry husband (or Tawny Kitaen, or however you spell her name) are supposed to count to ten after getting angry, well that's what I'm doing. My first month in a new apartment was spent without cable or internet, which resulted in constantly watching DVDs because God forbid there is a quiet moment. Seinfeld season 5 (or 6, can't remember, whichever one Santa gave me that one Christmas and by Santa I mean Kathy) was heavy in the rotation, hence the new lifestyle and outlook. Meet a girl? I'll hold off on making plans but she's welcome to call me. Hear about a job prospect or a freelance opportunity? I'll submit some clips but if I don't do it today I'll do it tomorrow, and if the job is gone when I get there then so be it, I have enough money coming in to buy High Life, pay rent and pay Comcast (which includes Internet and cable and phone, though I don't own a telephone and haven't had a land line since 2002 but with this phone I'll be able to buzz people into my building from the comforts of the 3rd floor instead of walking down to the lobby to let them in, another move motivated by watching Seinfeld, plus the phone service only cost and extra $7 and hooray for package deals).

Since this is the first post in a long time and I'm in the writing spirit I'd like to say that this will be the first of many new posts, everyday at the least, but to be honest I doubt that will happen. In the spirit of my new opposite-of-my-impulse POV I can honestly say it may be two months before I post again. I thought they would have deleted this blog sight by now, but once again Goulash sneaks under the radar.

By the by, I was watching Mad Men on AMC recently On Demand (digital cable is my heroin) and not only is the main character named Don, but on episode two he ordered Goulash at a swank Manhattan restaurant. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I wanted to put that on the table for further investigation.

More to come, maybe, depending on (the opposite) of how I feel.

Why is spell check telling me to capitalize internet? I'm not doing it.

Foxworthy Brand Beef Jerky...

2007-04-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

Hi.

I've been gone a little while, four months to be exact but I'm coming out of retirement (wearing the four five) and I'll do my best to keep the Chronicles strong. Boy oh boy do I have some stories for you. I'm going to try to keep things short and sweet and frequent rather than long and few and far between. Lots of random good stuff, for starters...

The reason I came out of retirement today was to share my new foavorite thing in the world: hearing the needle or other distortion from a record palyer while listening io MP3s. The music in question is Cookin' With The Miles Davis Quintet. For those of you who aren't familiar with this sound I hope you hear it one day. Basically it's caused when a record is transferred onto a harddrive and converted into an MP3, that way someone with an extensive record collection can listen to their music on an ipod without rebuying everything. The best perk of this soon to be over high profile internship (inhale) is the amount of music I've bben able to take off of the various harddrives throughout the office, and put nto my own itunes library. That's where this Miles Davis song I'm listening to come from and in the last I've nearly doubled my music, which means now I need an external harddrive but I have some tunes to listen to while search for it. In January, one of my first days at the internship, I got talking to the local content editor about the new Bloc Party CD. He said he really liked it (advanced copy) and I said I was excited to hear it when it came out. Then he told me not to wait and handed me the CD. I bet I listened to it ten times that week, not so much for the music itself but for the advanced availablity of the music.

As I type this I'm at the internship and the same local content editor, a guy whom I've been reading for years even before this internship was an option, is walking around the office offering everyone some Jeff Foxworthy Brand Beef Jerky. Not a bad way to break up the monotony of the midday slowdown.

I'm posting this without spellchecking. Caution, meet wind.

More to come...

Every audience has one...

2007-01-24T12:25:00.000-06:00

I'm a pretty big fan of anything involving bear costumes, so when I saw the new Of Montreal video I got pretty excited...

And there's always...

Maurice David Letterman, 1947-1994...

2007-01-21T02:50:00.000-06:00

He Had Trouble Joining...

2007-01-17T13:19:00.000-06:00

This is from a site called College Humor. Last week they advertised a new segment called The Michael Showalter Showalter, and though I'm not a fan of his live act I think Michael Showalter is funny so I was intriqued by the show. When I found out that his guest on the opening show would be Zach Galifianakis (my current favorite stand-up) I hit the roof. I searched for it all day yesterday and it was nowhere on their site and that was a total let down, but today they finally had it listed.

It's a bummer that Dog Bites Man is cancelled, but the video is still great.

More to come...

A Portable Shower...

2007-01-13T13:29:00.001-06:00

More Embedded Goodness...

2007-01-12T12:44:00.000-06:00

If anybody can make her laugh, it's this guy:

Thanks to Andrew P. for the link.

This might not be funny if you haven't seen the episode, but if you haven't seen the episode you should leave work right now (fake a stomach cramp) and get a copy of the disk. Sealab 2021 is consistently funny, no matter how many times an episode has already been seen and this is one of my favorite clips from the show:

I Need To Grab Firefox...

2007-01-11T18:47:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the absence, been busy moving and I need to grab Firefox to really get back into the Goulash swing of things. Either Blogger.com isn't Safari friendly or it's just me, but I'll download it soon (after Must See TV) and be back in no time. Until then:

More to come...

It's Been a Good One...

2006-12-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

Today is my last day as a temp, and I'm celebrating by reading a lot of newspaper articles as opposed to working. Some stuff I've read:

Bobby Knight has been a favorite of mine ever since he was a favorite of my grandpa's. Knight used to make appearances at Iowa Farmer's Conventions and my grandpa always enjoyed it. I'd like to see B. Knight keep winning, if for no other reason than to give Steve Alford something to do with his time since things in Iowa haven't been very exciting for him. I'm going to the Hawkeye's basketball game tomorrow and I'm super excited to go to Carver. It's an old favorite.

I haven't decided if I'm driving to Iowa City late tonight or early tomorrow. It's not an exciting drive but it's an easy drive there from Chicago. I'm glad I'm not in Florida or I may have to worry abut getting lost like this guy.

I'm a big fan of rough drafts, revision is my favorite part of the writing process. However, I usually get rid of old drafts if I no longer need them because you never know what trouble they will get you into. Sometimes you think an article can't possibly live up to it's fantastic headline, but sometimes it just gets better.

All the holiday driving I've been doing lately mixed with preparing for a move and working some extra hours has left little time to excersise, not like I excercise much to begin with but it's made me feel a little sluggish. As much as I want to stay in shape I'm bored with excerscise. I have a lot of respect for people who can go to the gym everyday, except for the people who like to brag about how much they go to the gym and try to put down those of us who stuggle with motivation for excercise. If you're one of these people there's something you need to know. I don't find it fun and the "reward" it poses is hard for me to keep in sight, so I'm constantly looking for new fitness routines and experiments. What guarantees my further avoidance of excersise is my brother giving me his old X-Box for Christmas and a sweet new game which is right up my alley, so video games seem to be creeping into my life. I've never been into the video game culture but it seems fun and way better than Yoga.

And finally, this link was sent to me recently with, "My favorite link of the year..." as the subject line, and after reading it I must agree. The first picture of the fire pit is the current desktop on my MacBook. Thanks to R. Smart for the link.

There it is, the last of the Random Good Stuff for 2006. The last entry I make while I should be doing work at my temp job. It's been a good one, a good relocation to Chicago, a good time painting my parent's house this summer, a good trip to Kansas City to blow the money I had saved to buy an ipod on an Eagles of Death Metal concert, a good visit to Minneapolis to finally see the Walker Museum of Art, a good trip to Boston on my brother's birthday to get drunk on Magic Hat #9 which is one of my all time favorite beers as a tornado ripped through Iowa City, and a good year to start a blog. I hope 2006 has been equally as awesome for readers of The Goulash Chronicles. See you next year, GoonBots.

Christmas Balls...

2006-12-22T23:16:00.000-06:00

My mom sent me this video this morning, she had seen it on TV recently. It's a little corny, but if you watch this and it doesn't make you smile then we aren't friends anymore.

I'm not sure why it's in Spanish...

And while we're talking Late Night Christmas...

Yesterday's News...

2006-12-19T09:34:00.000-06:00

NBC's wesbite isn't very friendly to Macs, at least it wasn't to mine last night. For anyone who has trouble with their page, here is a YouTube version of the SNL Digital Short that we were talking about yesterday...

And then there's this...

Thanks to D. Gilbertson for the links.

While we're at it...

And finally, in terms of talk shows Matt Damon has had his troubles in the past, but he was on point with Letterman the other night...

All Time Favorite...

2006-12-18T13:35:00.000-06:00

After watching the Hawkeyes get smoked I had some projects to work on Saturday night and I had SNL on TV as I worked. I ended up not getting much done until the episode was over because it was really good. I've always been a fan of SNL and though they've been less than their best recently, especially earlier this season, last week with Annette Bening and this past weekend with Justin Timberlake have been dynamite. The Hugh Laurie episode was good too, though I must admit that I haven't watched every second of this season. The digital shorts are getting better as well. I had long hoped that the shorts would start to take a more prominent role in the show as they did back when Albert Brooks started doing them, but they have gone back and forth over the last decade. Since Lazy Sunday they seem to be more of a feature, which is great because my all time favorite SNL clip is a short.

This past Saturday had a very fantastic video and the rest of the episode had me laughing as well. NBC currently has a bunch of clips from the season up here. They might not work if you have a Mac or you might have to download a Windows media player but it's worth it.

As everyone already knows from all the articles and info written about Lazy Sunday, some of the new blood (last year) who are doing the shorts are (is?) The Lonely Island. They have all kinds of good stuff on their sight, and lots of it.

It's also no secret that I enjoy Tanqueray, though I haven't enjoyed it lately because I'm broke. Early this morning I got a text message from my brother Dante which compared me to Tony Sinclair, the current spokesman for the product and suffice to say it was an awesome thing to start my day. So awesome I was twenty minutes late for work.

I've been watching The Office on DVD since I don't currently have cable. Not having cable isn't a big deal since this never ever gets old.*

*For those of you who think the Goulash Chronicles are getting a little too close to repeating itself with this post, I thank you for paying such close attention.

I'm old and grey...

2006-12-18T10:36:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend I was involved in a conversation regarding natural talent. We had started talking about Brian K. Vaughn's book Pride of Baghdad and that lead to talking about instincts and that lead to professional sports and that lead to the Bulls current hot streak and that lead the conversation to a guy who plays for the Bulls whom one of us sort of knew or at least we had met him once in Okoboji over the 4th and then had met him again in Lawrence because we had a mutual friend. At this point the conversation hit a slight lull, as it sometimes does when pro sports are brought up because the majority of pro athletes are in their 20's like myself and they're also multi-millionaires which I definately am not. In fact I'm the opposite. 26 is a weird age because I'm young enough to justify working for pennies in order to train myself (new newspaper internship starts January 2nd) for the career I want to work until I'm old and grey, yet I'm old enough to have friends buying a new Mercedes every year. Well, maybe not every year but you get the point.

I think a lot of what goes into being a pro athlete is luck. Not luck in the sense that they're lucky to have the opportunity to make lots of cash because I truly believe that athletes, the ones with staying power, obviously have to bust their ass each day to keep up to par with everyone else in their field. These people aren't just playing games. (Get it? Games? Sports?) I think the luck comes into play because they're natural talents happen to also be what they want to spend the rest of their life doing. Pretty lucky if you ask me, lucky and fantastic. If someone is good at tennis and they like tennis, it's a no brainer that he/she should be a tennis player. If someone is good at baseball but would rather be a chef, that's where it gets tough. What makes the road even longer is when you see someone your own age without student loans and they're able to pay their parking tickets on time so that the city doesn't send a letter home to your parents because your Lumina is still in your dad's name and that prompts your dad to reconsider your having a car in Chicago, hypothetically. It's easy to be proud of your friends, but envy is hard to mask when you eat Ramen every night.

Anyway, all of this led me to think about my natural gifts because writing sure as hell isn't one of them, hence all the attempts at practice. I kept my eyes open this weekend and I think I found something, let me set up the scene for you. It's late in the day and you're at a small clothing store, or a barber shop, or a coffee house or even a bank and they're just about to close. You're the last person in the place and you're the last customer to leave before they lock the second door. The exit has a double door and they have already locked the door on the right to deter people from coming in and their needing to tell them, "Sorry we're closed. We open at ten tomorrow." I walk toward the double doors trying to hurry as to not further hold up the people working because I've been in their shoes when all you want is for that last person to leave so you can close and go home and turn on the TV take off your socks and rub your feet on the carpet and BOOM. I run into whichever of the double doors has been locked. If the right one is locked I'll have picked the left, if the left is locked I'll go right. It's a natural talent which pisses me off to no end because the place is always empty so when I smack into the door the sound reverberates throughout the space for all of the employees to here. "Oh, that door's locked. The one on the left is open." No shit, coffee batista or bank teller or whoever is working behind the counter?

That's my natural talent. It isn't exactly what I want to spend my whole life doing professionally, but I'm not saying I wouldn't capitalize on it if I could. After all, it might be nice to drive a Mercedes to the store for Ramen.

I'm going to try...

2006-12-18T10:12:00.000-06:00

Since I'm always on the look out for new condiments I was excited to read today on Daily Candy (which isn't just for girls) about a reataurant called Smoque in the Irving Park neighborhood. Since I'll soon be leaving my current home base (a futon in a friend's livingroom in west Lakeview) for a new home base (a sublet with an air mattress in east Lakeview) I'm going to try to make it over to Smogue while it's still in walking distance.

I can't watch YouTube at work, nor can I look at MySpace or Digg.com or other video sites, which is why alot of stuff people send me during the day doesn't make it onto the Goulash Chronicles for a little while. Those of you who have sent links and video please keep them coming. I'm going to try and make more little posts with random good stuff and save the digressions for after work. We'll see how it goes, but the Goulash Chronicles are still in the experimental stages anyway. With that said, I was ecstatic to learn about a new Arcade Fire song available over the phone as well as online. It's all explained hear.

More to come...

His hands are tied...

2006-12-04T11:49:00.001-06:00

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like you to please tell Steve Jobs and the others at Apple to get off their asses and put the touch screen iPod on the market already. I don’t even need you to bring it to my house on Christmas Eve, I’ll pay for it myself but I’m tired of waiting. It’s no secret that those clowns have us all by the balls, but I thought you could work some magic. I saw the Easter Bunny last Saturday at Borders and asked him about it (I hate to bring up work stuff on the weekend but he’s so damn hard to get a hold of) but he said his hands are tied this time of year. I had to wait forever to buy a Macbook and I don’t want a repeat of that situation so anything you can do will be appreciated. I have been pretty good this year, but you told me last summer that you don’t give a shit about that “for goodness sake” jive, so whatever.

Say hi to the Mrs. for me.

Yours truly,
Don Goulash

Asleep at the wheel...

2006-11-28T23:45:00.001-06:00

I don't think anything an artist does can undo the good stuff that he or she has already done. An image can be tarnished and character can be damaged but nothing can affect the random good stuff which has already happened in the past. Examples: OJ killed his wife but USC will always have his Heismen trophy, Michael Jackson may be weird but "Rock With You" will always be a good song, Dan Akroyd has made some questionable choices for movie roles but the brilliance of Ghostbusters can never be undone. Michael Richards had a public breakdown but he had some pretty memorable TV moments back in the day.

In the past, Guns n' Roses have made some awesome music but they haven't been around for a long time. The current version of Guns n' Roses is just a cover band. Recently The Eagles of Death Metal, one of my personal favorites, was tapped to support Guns n' Roses on their recent tour and were dropped very quickly. You can/should take a moment to read about it here. What bothers me most of all is that while driving back to my parent's for Thanksgiving last Wednesday I was falling asleep at the wheel, and Peace, Love and Death Metal woke me up. I listened to it front to back and was reminded of how awsome that album is, only to read that a wash-up like Axl Rose is talking down on another band, let alone a great band, as if anyone still cares what Axl Rose thinks.

Sweet Child of Mine will always be a fantasmo song but I hate Axl Rose, and his face lifts.

More to come...

Practice for the next thing...

2006-11-28T15:22:00.000-06:00

The internet is down at work and it’s causing me to lose my mind a little. I wanted to check when the Hawkeyes play next but nothing doing. The problem is that I can’t ask anybody for help on the fear that they’ll ask, “What do you need the internet for?” I don’t need it for anything work related so here I am, sitting patiently, waiting for someone to fix it or for it to fix itself, which the internet may or may not be able to do. To be honest I don’t know much about computers and I’m a horrible typist. I’m one of those people who look at the keyboard while typing which makes my current situation even harder since being moved to a new workstation with an older computer. Most of the keys are worn out and the letters have gone missing, which is probably just fine for a temp but it makes it hard to search for Ultimate X-Men trades on half.com when one can’t find the god damn X.

You would think this could be a good time to do some other projects I’ve been asked to work on but I’m left sitting here wondering when I’ll be able to check my e-mail. This is a prime time for me to tell myself that I was about to work on some freelance stuff (I’m starting to get some actual assignments), or at least print out some material for the article I have due on Friday which I have yet to start, but I know that I’m only using the disabled internet as another excuse. When it’s back up and running I’ll tell myself that I need to check my e-mail or read something on Slate.com or some other excuse to prolong the work I should have done two weeks ago. For some reason this has never bothered me. For every time I’m up against a deadline like this I never once have said, “Next month will be different. I’m going to get things done early.” Nope. Instead I’ve reinforced my procrastination habits by saying, “Well, you waited until the last minute, but you got the job done on time and think about all that stuff you did (basically just day-to-day life experiences) that contributed to the final result.” I’m a firm believer that everything you do is practice for the next thing you do. Call it what you will, such as the circle of life or karma or some other example that I should reference but I’m unable to look anything up on Wikipedia because the internet is down, but everything is most definitely interrelated. This is a passage from today’s Daily OM:

“Yet our initial impressions of an experience may not wholly reveal the true significance of that occurrence because our full response to an experience is like an onion with many layers that all have disparate meanings. Consider that a sunrise may stun us visually while simultaneously evoking memories of childhood and reminding us that each new day is a rebirth.”

Am I setting myself up for a fall? Maybe. Only time will tell. Until then I’ll be inadvertently prepping for whatever comes next. I guess I’ll know it when it happens.

The racial elements are obvious...

2006-11-21T09:30:00.000-06:00

By now everyone has heard the news about a former Seinfeld star who has been in the papers about some pretty racey material that was publicly broadcast. Well it wasn't very hard, but I found a clip of the material in question and posted it below. After watching this I don't know if I can watch my Seinfeld DVDs anymore. Use your discretion when watching this, it's pretty extreme stuff and the racial elements are obvious once you start the clip.

It isn't fair to judge...

2006-11-17T12:47:00.000-06:00

I woke up tired and a little hung over this morning (four High Lifes turned into nine) and felt like a different person as I was getting ready for work, but I felt better after a shower and putting on my shoes, which for some reason helps me wake up. A little coffee also helped. Money is tight right now, which is fine, and brewing coffee at home is a nice way to save a couple of bucks instead of droping dimes at Starbucks, even though there are apparently some interesting yet very lame ways around that.

Some new books which I would like to read are on the shelves and the Onion A.V. Club has articles relating to two of them. The first is Random Rules with Marisha Pessl. Her book sounds good and the photo doesn't hurt. The only thing better than a pretty girl who can write a good story is an astronaut who gives you free ice cream. I almost hate to bring that up because it isn't fair to judge her book by her own looks but she's definately easier on the eyes than some authors.

An interview with Chuck Klosterman talks a lot about his writing process and that’s the stuff I personally really enjoy, especially after applying to some publications and recently hearing back about possibly hearing back. Reading stuff like this helps me stay patient, which is difficult knowing that there are people in the world dressed just like me accomplishing more with less time…

Side note: Microsoft Word didn’t recognize the word Klosterman and suggested I replace it with Lobsterman. Lobsterman made me laugh more than I care to admit, which is perfect for a Friday.

More to come…

Along with a lot of pizzas...

2006-11-16T23:33:00.000-06:00

On the train ride home from the first night of my new nights/weekend job I mapped out a fantastic outline to write about, but after catching up on episode four of the current season of Battlestar Galactica and four High Lifes, I'm too sleepy. I'll save it for tomorrow, so as I nod off I'll leave you with this:

Various midwestern libraries...

2006-11-16T13:32:00.000-06:00

Do you like Stephen King? Me too, though I'm starting to think I'll never read any of his books. There is an increasing number of writers who, I’m sad to say, I just won’t get around to reading. Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, Cormack McCarthy and especially Michael Chabon have been on my list for years, some of their books are even on my shelf, but I’ve yet to read a single word. I dream of a time when all I'll do is catch up on stuff I've been meaning to consume over the past few years, but it won't happen and that's frustrating, almost maddening. What’s interesting about the media is how it can provide such a great appreciation for authors without you having to reading their material. When Hunter S. Thompson died, Rolling Stone put out a pretty amazing tribute issue which I continue to go back and look at from time to time giving me a real admiration of his life and adventures, and he was always amazing when he was on Late Night.
Have I read any of his books? Nope. On the same note, I’ve probably checked The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay out from various midwestern libraries a half dozen times over the last couple of years, but I have yet to crack the cover.

Anyway, back to Stephen King and my point, I’ve read his stuff in Entertainment Weekly and I had a writing teacher in college who always talked about him (rumor is he spent time at the University of Iowa Writer’s Workshop) and I think he’s obviously great though I’ve never read his novels. The New York Times (which is free online is you take a moment to sign up) ran a really cool article recently which referenced a lot of good writers, whom I probably won't read, and talked about the changing landscape. It’s worth checking out when you have a moment, but the site will probably expire in a few days.

On a similar note, there are a lot of movies I would like to watch but will probably just never see like Jaws and The Godfather. I’m pretty sure I’ll never see 2001: A Space Odyssey. This belief was strengthened yesterday when I returned the DVD to the Chicago Public Library a day late having never even taken the disc out of my bag. It’s nice to be busy but a $2 fine is more of an insult than anything. That’s the first time I’ve ever walked out of a library pissed off at myself but probably not the last.

Any movies or books you don’t think you’ll ever see either due to time or because you just refuse? Type them in the comment section, maybe we have some of the same stuff on our lists.

More to come…

Give or take a couple of words...

2006-11-15T15:00:00.000-06:00

In the midst of my temp job I’ve been trying to get some writing work and I received my first official “maybe” the other day. I’ve been trying to get into the ground floor at an entertainment publication in Chicago which will remain vague, and this wouldn’t just be freelance but I would be on an actual staff. I had a solid contact in the company and was doing my best not to get over excited incase it fell through, but that’s plenty easier said than done. Monday I heard back that I’m a possibility for a spot opening in January. Nice right? You would think, but my optimism must have slept through the alarm clock that morning because I started to question what results I had to show for today? I immediately got bummed and thought about how far January was and how much I wanted the job right then. Then I took a drink of my coffee and it was ice cold. “Ice cold? How long was it sitting there? Have I been so wrapped up in my morning that I let my coffee go cold? I haven’t even done anything this morning. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not drinking alcohol anymore. Not for a while at least. I haven’t earned it. I need to get something done. I need to produce some results. Something worth telling people about at my parent’s Christmas party.” Give or take a couple of words, that’s how my random depressed moments always start. I guess everyone has their own style.

Everyone gets dpressed and it's nothing new, and I recover pretty quick. The problem I've been considering recently is figuring out when my brain will have had too much? At this point I’m pretty sure the question isn’t, “Will I have a breakdown one day?” but rather, “When will my bat-shit breakdown happen?” I’m thinking of starting a pool like March Madness and letting people place bets. At least that way someone can make a little money while I’m sitting in a hospital bed staring out the window (I’m not sure if I’ll be drooling or not, but probably). Maybe if I keep writing through it all when it happens I’ll be able to salvage something. It’s worked for others. I don’t mean this to sound pessimistic in the, “Poor me, I’m doomed,” kind or way but instead I’m trying to confront it with humor like David Brent would.
It definitely won’t happen for a long time, not until a little later in my life. Ironically, it probably won’t be an issue until I have a more grounded lifestyle. Maybe when a wife leaves me. That would be a legit reason for a mental crash and burn.

Like I said, the depression is fleeting. It’s usually gone in a few minutes thanks to my optimism, which may or may not be a Midwest thing, and if it was that big a deal it would be way more hard to reflect on like I’m doing here. I’ll probably just grab something to drink on the way home from work and evaluate my options. That sounds like pretty good motivation to make it through another day of work.

So much for keeping these entries short. More to come…

Definately wouldn't be able to talk...

2006-11-13T21:48:00.000-06:00

I'm watching Studio 60 and as much as I hate to admit it I was getting kind of bored until who should pop up but the girl who played Dawn on The Office, whom I definately have a crush on which means I definately wouldn't be able to talk to her if I ever met her. She was also on Shawn of the Dead which is one of my favorite movies.

Somehow I ended up on YouTube and was watching clips of an old show called LateWorld with Zach which aired on VH1 for a very short time a very long time ago. It was hosted by Zach Galifianakis and they always had great music.

Helping Me Crawl...

2006-11-13T14:54:00.000-06:00

Since this blog 'o mine is pretty much about my search for motivation in life which sounds over dramatic but that's the best way I can put it, I thought I would share some samples of things which get me through the day. Today is particularly strange at work and my short list for things to do tonight is helping me crawl through the afternoon, and there are two things in particular.

#1. Studio 60...
It's a TV show on the Sunset Strip on NBC. I really, really like this show. For years my mom was telling me to check out the West Wing and I just never got around to it so there was no way I was going to miss this show. The fact that it's subject matter is sketch comedy is just icing on the cake. I'm willing to bet that most people who are ragging on this show, even though it just got picked up into a full season, aren't even watching it. There are plenty of people who would rally against something in pop culture just because it's popular, and everyone who liked the Strokes after their first album and then all of the sudden said they didn't like the Strokes, I'm looking at you.

#2. Condiments
I'm currently crashing on a couch, a futon actually, as I hunt trough the streets of Chicago in search of an address of my own, hopefully with hardwood floors and big windows and the previous tenant left behind a bunch of bookshelves. Of course, when I say "hunt through the streets" I mean to say sit on the couch and look through Craigslist. My temp home is provided by a couple of friends I met through college friends a long time ago and with whom I have since become good friends. Got that? They have both been in Chicago a while and their refrigerator has acquired a healthy amount of condiments and sauces and other random good stuff. I bought some chicken the other night (very boring) cooked it (also boring) and then realized that I hadn't bought anything to put on top of it. In Iowa there is a fantastic barbecue sauce called Cookies, which you can't find in Chicago but it's pretty much my favorite. As the oven timer buzzed I started to feel a weird sense of homesick and missed the simplicity of having my own fridge with my own bottles in it and my own bed instead of a futon in a living room and so on and instead of using that as motivation to find an apartment where I could have my own bed and fridge with honey mustard I instead started to mope. However, this was over fast because as I opened the refrigerator door I began a new and surprising adventure in condiments which I'll continue tonight. Simple Pleasures. If anyone out there has a favorite condiment, I would love for the recommendation. Turns out there is a Trader Joe's near my temp house and I'm guessing they have something worth investigating, though I've never been to Trader Joe's but I've seen it on Food Network.

I need to figure out how to put substantial content into this blog rather than numbing rambles. Maybe I'll find inspiration in some condiments tonight. Thanks for reading. More to come.

Something to do...

2006-11-13T13:24:00.000-06:00

Here starts my new adventure in blogging. Finally I'll have something to do at work.